July 2009

PhD Comics

Part 2

Part 3

Good stuff. Go read. Read the whole of PhD comics. It will make you smile, laugh, and cry. But it’s good.

The New Republic has an article entitled “An A for Effort? Talk About a Lousy Idea.”

I’m thinking that would be an interesting post to read in class.

It refers to this New York Times piece, which begins “Prof. Marshall Grossman has come to expect complaints whenever he returns graded papers in his English classes…”

The blog post says of the article “But the tastiest bits are the too-entitled-to-be-believed quotes from real, live college students.” The authors’ response is pretty up front.

What would be wrong is if a university trained its students to believe that they were excellent simply for getting up off their futons and doing what was expected of them. Did the reading? Attended class? Stayed up late working on a paper? Good for you, puppy! Sure, you did a craptastic job on that paper–not to mention the final–suggesting that you have no more than a fourth-grader’s grasp of the material. But what the hell!? You worked hard. You showed up–even when you had that reallllly bad hangover. You may not have learned much, but you sure did try. Have a nice fat A. And here’s hoping it comes in handy when your first employer fires you for not being able to tell your ass from your elbow when it comes to doing your job.

Hah! I’ll bet you are wondering what exactly that has to do with teaching English, aren’t you?

It has long been theorized that the week prior to an exam is an extremely dangerous time for the relatives of college students. Ever since I began my teaching career, I heard vague comments, incomplete references and unfinished remarks, all alluding to the “Dead Grandmother Problem.” Few colleagues would ever be explicit in their description of what they knew, but I quickly discovered that anyone who was involved in teaching at the college level would react to any mention of the concept. In my travels I found that a similar phenomenon is known in other countries. In England it is called the “Graveyard Grannies” problem, in France the “Chere Grand’mere,” while in Bulgaria it is inexplicably known as “The Toadstool Waxing Plan” (I may have had some problems here with the translation. Since the revolution this may have changed anyway.) Although the problem may be international in scope it is here in the USA that it reaches its culmination, so it is only fitting that the first warnings emanate here also.

The whole thing is a delightful read by Mike Adams in Biology at Eastern Connecticut State U complete with graphs and charts and humor.

A provost is:
a high university administrator
the keeper of a prison

Is that irony or is that truth-telling?

A few years ago, I started making the parts of the paper research/writing process required – topic, annotated bib, etc. As each part is due, I remind them: “Your paper topic is due by Tuesday. Remember that I can’t accept your paper if you don’t get all the parts turned in. If you don’t get a paper grade, it’s virtually impossible to pass this course, so don’t forget.”

Miraculously, everyone turns everything in now. I do get the occasional begging when someone is a day or two late, but I can live with that. With this policy, they’re scared enough that everything gets turned in within that day or two, not weeks late.

from Wanna Writ on the Chronicle’s fora

Other posts on the topic include:
One question, though: What should I do if they fail to hand in the topic statement? I know several who’d blow that off, marks or no marks. Suggestions?

Take off a letter grade or two because their paper doesn’t match their topic statement. No topic statement, no match. Put it in your syllabus and they should have no recourse. Or am I being too barbaric?

A case study:

[A] student frantically emailed me the day before classes started to say he had gone to Israel over the break to visit family, but due to terrorist activity the airport was closed and his flight was cancelled (I checked online news, and this was true), he wasn’t sure when he would be able to get back to the US, and would I please give his email address to the class so that he could copy someone’s notes? Also, he knew the syllabus said I didn’t accept late work, so could he have the first couple of assignments now so that he could email them to me if he wasn’t able to be back by the due dates?

Yes, that is what the students should be doing. If they aren’t in class, they need to take care of it.

from PepperGal at the Chronicle’s fora, of course

You know, what is really freaking me out about the fact that someone said during my interviews that others thought I was too old is NOT the fact that he said I was too old.

That’s what most people focus on when I mention it. “Doesn’t he know how much trouble he could get in?”

No, what I focus on is the idea that age is a valid indicator of quality of teaching.

That’s what I don’t like.

The Chronicle forums got me going in this direction. I didn’t even know there were WikiHows out there. Very interesting. I am going to have to look for WikiHows on things I need to know next. But these are two posts that my students might find and that they could see as useful.

How to Ask for an Extension

2. Be honest as to what the e-mail will be about in the subject line. The professor has doubtless received many similar e-mails. A subject like “paper extension” or “inquiry on paper extension” are usually best.

3. Begin the e-mail with “Dear” and the professor’s official title. Using their full title shows respect.

4. Start with an apology for sending the e-mail. For some reason you can’t get the paper to them on its due date. Accept responsibility for this fact.

I have gotten in trouble for saying this, but it is true. If you are putting in a lot of effort, teachers are more willing to put in effort.

The more responsible you have shown yourself to be in class (coming to class on time, staying awake, completing assignments) the more likely the teacher is to give you an extension when you really need it.

This is such a good point: “Penalties assessed for late papers are not about a punitive issue, they are about an equity issue.” That is worth putting on my syllabus and I am impressed to find it in the Wikihow.

How to Befriend a Professor: Not that I would call it that. As students, students can’t really be our friends. But perhaps, “How to Act like your Professor is a Human Being” was already taken?

2. Ask good questions. The central strategy of this wikiHow is to change your professor’s image of you from “None” to “Valuable”. Asking intelligent questions, properly related to the topic your professor is covering, not only helps him/her to see what more may be usefully added to the lecture, but also elevates you from a nameless face to a Person — a person who is helping the professor with his/her job.

3. Attend office hours. This is your chance to talk to the professor one-on-one. Not only will you be able to ask questions that show that you’ve done all the reading and gave the subject thought, but you can let the professor know you–your interests, why you’re taking the class, your specific interests in the subject. Also, other students can ask questions, and you can ask follow up questions that may lead to a real discussion.
…
5. If the professor makes announcements during class about lectures on campus or other events, go to those events whenever possible. Often, these announcements are made because these lectures will enrich your experience of the class and add to your knowledge of the topic. By attending those lectures, you’ll show your professor that you are willing to put in extra effort.
….
[Tips]
Demonstrating extraordinary skill or interest in the class can get the attention of some instructors and be great ice breakers. Little things that show you care about the class can mean a great deal (to the point it may make an instructor weep with joy or at least impart a measure of glee) to a professor whose job is often thankless.

There are some good points. I could discuss them with my freshman students. I like it.

There was something coming to her and she was waiting for it, fearfully. What was it? She did not know; it was too subtle and elusive to name. But she felt it, creeping out of the sky, reaching toward her through the sounds, the scents, the color that filled the air.

Now her bosom rose and fell tumultuously. She was beginning to recognize this thing that was approaching to possess her, and she was striving to beat it back with her will–as powerless as her two white slender hands would have been. When she abandoned herself a little whispered word escaped her slightly parted lips. She said it over and over under her breath: “free, free, free!” The vacant stare and the look of terror that had followed it went from her eyes. They stayed keen and bright. Her pulses beat fast, and the coursing blood warmed and relaxed every inch of her body.

This was listed on a Chronicle forum as masturbation. To me it sounds more like rape, if it is being read sexually.

Has anyone else ever read this particular story this way?