July 2009

Use Mail Googles. It keeps you from ever sending mail at night and on weekends if you can’t do basic math!

Of course, if you can’t do basic math in 43 seconds on a good night/weekend, then you need to keep a calculator handy.

I am collecting a few examples of poor emails  for rhetorical analysis in freshman composition.

Ms. W!!!!

Wazzup? girl tell me what we have to do for Friday bcuz I take 3 claeses and wrk 15 hrs/wk and I dont have time 2 git to a comupter to look n e thing up I rlly like your cls bcuz your funny well let me know cuz im a rlly gd stdt and need a A in you’re cls.

[no signature]

By a male student to his female professor.

I can think of several things we could say about that email.

Some issues to consider:
spelling
language
word choice
student’s identification
class student is discussing
blaming

Mr. XXX,
Why did you give me an F? I attended most of the classes and at least tried to understand the materials. I think I deserved at least a passing grade. I studied hard for the exam in hopes that I would at least pass the class. Now I am behind another 2 semesters because I have to retake this class and then take Managerial Acct. Can you please reconsider? Hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks,
George

from Chrisqbn.

I Submitted my papewr on time, but I forgot to check the in text citation and submitted a copy with them all messed up, anyway I resubmitted it today to fix this, but i know that’ late, so just letting you know the paper part was in on time, but the in text citation was not.

It’s not the content or the standard refusal-to-be-literate-in-emails errors that make this a classic, it’s that the subject line said: “hey teach!”

Chronicle forum, siduri

The phrase “please reply as soon as possible” was noted as not being very audience aware. However, it was also noted as common in business in a CYA sort of offering. So what should I teach my students to do?

Think. Think. Think.

Dear Dr. mendeddrum,

You don’t actually know me, but my boyfriend, StudentX, is in your CourseY. I would just like to apologize for the fact that he was not in class on Monday. He did something really schetchy this weekend and I sort of punched him in the face. He was too embarassed to come to class with the black eye, and it was my fault–although if he hadn’t done it neither would I–and I’m sure he’ll be in class on Friday.

Really sincerely,
Girlfriend

Please note that the problem is not the salutation. The student in particular is identified clearly. What is the problem with mended drum’s student’s email?

what’s up sherry
i left my test in the back of the classroom. i was hoping you could pick it up and give me comments on it and also maybe make a study schedule for me so i know how to improve.
i know ur busy so thanks

Alas, some student had to write that.

Give *NO* make-up exam *until* the end of the semester.

Make a cumulative exam from H.— l to give to *everyone* who ever missed *any* exam during the semester. Give it once, and if they have a schedule conflict —-> zero!

You look like you “really, really tried” to be helpful, and their failures rest solely on their heads.

I highly recommend essay exams! It’ll be the end of the semester and they will more than likely NEVER ask to see how hard you graded their lame responses!

Likewise, you’ll be super-impressed by the good students who do well.

from The Myth

I like this idea to some extent. If it were a cumulative exam and the ones missed were on sections, I think this would be a legitimate way to make up the work. Of course, it is irrelevant to me. I only have one class with exams and I don’t give make-ups. I suppose if one of my schools required it.

Oops. One of them does.

They allowed someone who skipped the final, had an F in the class anyway, and didn’t call about missing the final for three days to retake the final the next month. Student failed and then put the whole department through h— for not having passed the class. Unfortunately the student could literally not write a correct sentence. Ever. And this was a developmental English course.

Geoteo’s thought on this:

Since my goal is to get the students to learn, I offer them an inducement to avoid the makeup test by dropping the lowest test grade of students who are present in class to take all four exams and earn at least 55%. So far it’s working pretty well.

One of the reasons I have never been fond of William Carlos Williams’ work is his short story “The Use of Force.” To me it was very violent. I found it so even (or perhaps especially) reading it for the first time in middle school.

I am glad to know I am not the only one disturbed by the inherent and socially approved violence in the story. The Use of Force and the Dilemma of Violence.

Canukois,while commenting on The Chronicle’s fora, said, “That’s just the very tip of the confusion iceberg, I fear.”

I love it. What a great metaphor!

I am hoping that as I teach my students, the confusion iceberg will melt and we will be left with simply enough ice to chill our sodas.

Modern to Old English, and vice versa

Middle English Dictionary

Found this while I was looking for sexual connotations of tooth. “Sharpest tooth” is not clearly sexual in its original form, but it does tend one to think in that direction.

Little girls, this seems to say,
Never stop upon your way,
Never trust a stranger-friend;
No one knows how it will end.
As you’re pretty so be wise;
Wolves may lurk in every guise.
Handsome they may be, and kind,
Gay, and charming – never mind!
Now, as then, ‘tis simple truth -
Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth!

I was fascinated by this poem and even more by the fact that it was present in the original version of Little Red Riding hood written by Charles Perrault, written in the morally decadent period of King Louis XIV.

Just one more reason fairy tales are so fascinating.

I would include the movie referenced in my discussion of contemporary uses of fairy tales, but I am fairly sure most of my students would not consider a movie that came out before they were born contemporary.

Sigh.

1848 English edition of Struwelpeter is well worth a look, just for the vibrant colors

His reply was that knowledge was important and he could find plenty of those who had the requisite knowledge he needed but he would like to see people who didn’t stop when faced with an obstacle but rather tried to strategize other ways of doing things, to problem solve. He wanted people who worked well with deadlines and were able to break down the steps to complete a project on time. He also wanted people who could work together as a team.

And, as the employers who called my college have shown, someone who can write reasonably well.

And listen. Actually listen. And hear what the other person said. And understand it. And remember it.